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The Truth About Home Based Business                    "How to implement a marketing strategy while vacuuming"

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It was about two years ago that it all began. The dream that is. I wanted to change my life - my family's life. Freedom was calling, and I heeded its throaty beckoning.

I'd spent well over ten of an as yet undisclosed allotment of available years within a variety of management roles in the public sector. I had worked far too hard, for far too many hours, and too variable a collection of personalities, whose leadership styles ranged from paternal, to happily cruel.

I had tried hard, grown much, taken my lumps, bounced back, and in the end found myself entirely unenthused with the direction I had freely chosen those many years before.

So I jumped.

Did I mention that damnable dream? Just a tickle behind your ear. A little whisper to one's self of a situation completely unlike the "now". Thoughts of taking control of one's destiny, of leaping into the abyss known as entrepreneurism, of utter faith in one's abilities, and being able to make full use of them in 'all their glory'.

Writer, suddenly interrupted by a summons from the small being known only as "child", who is currently taking a "tubby", loses all track of thought process, and attends to the wee one's needs...

Fade to bathroom shot where said child proudly informs on discovery that shampoo selection of the day makes a not-so tasty treat - writer discusses properties displayed by cleansing agents as opposed to those indicated by edible products, returns to computer with only thoughts of mouth bubbles to draw from...

The planning was done. It had been ongoing for months - a time fraught with internet based research, business plan development, financial considerations, product studies, target market evaluation. Months of site design, graphics development, product photos, content generation. The computer had become office, dinner table, and an occasionally unforgiving pillow.

It was now, god help us all, time to implement. Time to test my own metal. Time to prove once and for all that I was a doer. A taker of chances. A willing adventurer driven by sufficient fortitude of spirit to successfully manufacture my own future.

We launched. We uploaded. We submitted. We told people. We even took out some banner ads - the creative juices were flowing! Banner ads we thought - what a concept! $100 worth ought to fire us up for now - just until the search engines pick us up and place us at the front of the pile! That should garner us thousands of visitors daily, profits through the roof (note to self - prepare those packing and shipping workstations) and should take place in two or three weeks... right?

We waited.

And waited.

Flip to writer as he receives unexpected client call - phone number not in general distribution due to home based office challenges, but some clients accept no less than direct contact. Conversation goes well, client interested in products, wishes to place order, bless their soul...

Pan to driveway, and approaching vehicle of writer's beautiful wife. Note dangling muffler, creating unusual noises not generally associated with vehicles authorized for ongoing road use.

Flash to close-up of creature known as "dog", and the sudden increase in blood flow and brain activity relative to psychic sensation that wife has arrived. "Dog" stirs and awakens.

Zoom out and pan to writer at desk (a.k.a. dinner table, pillow), still on phone with potential client (a.k.a. potential mortgage payment). Note writer's increasing look of panic as the realization of dog's keen awareness of wife becomes clear. Follow writer as he attempts to hastily change location to a more secure environment before the inevitable occurs.

Zoom in on writer's look of agony as "dog" reaches entrance portal to home, and proceeds to advise wife through loud verbal activity that he is a good boy, has been a good boy, and should probably receive a treat. Bark.

Go to audio of client, which is really no audio at all, as client has gone suddenly silent at other end of phone. Clearly client is dealing with confusion over dog in writer's office, and wondering at writer's current state of mind, and thus ability to complete task at hand.

Flash to entry of wife, and the piercing (although enthusiastic, and well intended) "I'm home!!" ...

And waited.

Then things began to happen. That first glorious order - proof that we were no flash in the pan schemers - we were doing BUSINESS!. That first customer was tended to like no other - receiving a level of attention and service that would have made royalty feel spoiled.

Within only days we had our second order, then another. We answered questions, discussed the value of our product with potential clients, talked real nice, and made some solid first impressions.

We grew our marketing efforts, focusing on ventures involving some new fangled "pay per click" search engines - "only for a couple of weeks until the big boys pick us up, you know". We packed a few more orders, began writing articles for our in-house newsletters, as well as other interested parties just hankering to launch our property into its rightful place within the internet's "top ten most visited" list.

I would like to say that the orders flooded our email system, but they didn't. Strangely enough, the anticipated requirement for "leased warehouse storage space" never materialized. Nor have we been invited to join the Internet's "top ten" (although we may have simply missed the call).

We have received a "Cool Site of the Day" award, but like everything on the Internet these days, we had to pay for it.

Grow we did, but the growth had its price. Early analysis clearly indicated our marketing efforts to be far outweighing our ability to acquire actual customers willing to sufficiently reimburse us for kindly advising them of our presence.

Clearly, there were decisions to be made, directional shifts required, and additional traffic gathering sites determined as necessary. Time to plan, design, build, and launch, again....

Is this not where we began? Close, but with a slight shift in perspective. Subtract one cup of naive enthusiasm. Replace with one cup of dogged determination, an perhaps a quarter cup of nibbling concern.

Pan to writer, reawakening to the world around him as the phone rings. Though a fan of cordless freedom, writer is clearly having difficulty in locating phone, and while running frantically from room to room, is giving consideration to potential client hanging up out of sheer frustration (see "dog", and/or "mortgage payment")

Writer locates cordless, and notes to his dismay that there is no client on other end, but instead, someone calling themself "School Nurse".

Writer attempts to make sense of situation, but half of brain has been left jiggling aimlessly inside hard drive of computer. Nurse, otherwise known as "not-so-patient lady", explains that there has been an incident with being known as "oldest child", one involving some bad beef stew, and its imminent release while "oldest child" was jogging on the recently waxed gymnasium floor. Nurse requests "oldest child" be removed from premises, as soon as possible. Writer concurs, and asks where specifically "Nurse" would recommend that "oldest child" be removed to? Nurse fails to see humor in comment.

Writer nervously abandons home office (dinner table, pillow), locates home based child inside kitchen cupboard, spends 15 minutes attaching various winter garments to child. Writer transports child from house, to vehicular mounting bracket (car seat), speeds dangerously to school, disconnects small child, locates older child, remounts small child, says a moment of prayer regarding older child "making it home without further incident", and does so. Writer returns to cone of silence.

Then comes the launch of sites two, three, four, and five. With some careful planning, we have been able to dedicate ourselves to this stage without the troubling interference of outside work responsibilities. During the summer season no less! Thoughts of shortened summer hours, increased cash flows, and afternoons on the links begin to creep into our busy minds.

Though tackling the "naive" factor with some success, current enthusiasm is peaked. We are, after all, now living the dream! Working from home, with no reporting structure excepting ourselves. We are on the verge of complete schedule flexibility. We are on the road to the good life!

Then one day we take a look out the window. There's an unknown white substance covering our somewhat unkempt grounds. Some sort of cotton? A light dusting of sugar to add a touch of sweetness to our already decadent lifestyle?

Snow?

One golf game. No holiday escape. A yard condition that is seriously impacting our neighbor's resale values. A review of hours worked that indicates a flexibility hampering 80 hours per week! And an average income that would be illegal if offered by any other party than ourselves. Refocus opportunity number two.

Examine structure of all sites, incoming sales, margins, and impact of reduced marketing expenses. Research newly launched promotional options, as well as the old dogs not adopted earlier. Review weaknesses of original property now understood through long learning curve traveled to date. Make corporate decision to address site weaknesses via the first network site "rebuild". Adopt customer recommendations. Place additional sticky features. Improve overall product presentations and cross-sell opportunities. Plan it. Build it. Launch it.

Pray.

Fade to writer looking obviously pensive, giving serious consideration to potential partnerships of a non-competetive nature worthy of further exploration, in order to achieve stronger client awareness of products, as well as increases in overall traffic. Pull back, exposing writer to be speedily vacuuming dog residue from all horizontal surfaces within household, while giving due consideration to many such hefty questions.

Break to writer deftly developing an improved shipping pricing strategy, designed to ensure client impression of value, while maintaining a natural draw to more self supporting, and costly options. Zoom out to show writer drawing picture of duck with prepackaged icing packet provided with "child's" favorite toaster strudel product (see lesson in edible products), trying to maintain mental division between features of new shipping policy with bird related objects, such as beaks, and that undefined webbing between their toes.

Flash to writer busily packing 5 orders at once, the largest daily client request to date, and listen in as writer calculates potential profit on shipments. Audio to writer's thoughts, as he reviews recent marketing shifts, promotional experiments that seem to be working, and calculates business as only a hair away from providing one member of household with an actual, regular income.

Shift video, allowing viewer to note the thinning hair, pale skin, and stress related wrinkles spreading slowly across writer's visible features. Zoom in on writer's daily notes, as he gives consideration to an outdoor office in future, allowing for needed exposure to sunlight, and the prevention of potential automobile/pedestrian accidents relative to his pale skin's lack of visibility against the white winter snow.

Focus also on the growing smile, and the unmistakable glimpse of pure pride taking bloom on writer's face. Zoom in as writer comes to suddenly understand that they are no longer just running a business, they are the successful owners of a home based, Internet operation that is profitable, growing, and although never easy, worth every ounce of sustained effort, eyestrain, and potential carpal tunnel syndrome required.

Fade to black. Show trailer of writer bloopers, involving icing duck that looks more like a seal. Fade out.

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